this.

I feel so empty and numb.
So empty and numb.
I can't form my words.
And these sentences aren't coming out right.
Everything feels like it's going by too quickly.
And I'm running out of time.
It's like there's no time to smile.
No time for anything at all.
I feel so detached from everyone.
And I'm losing grip.
It's like this never ending cycle,
where it's that moment when I finally
can get off the ground but then I lose
everything and I fall back down again.
It's so frustrating.
And it just feels like I need to impress everyone
or everyone expects something of me.
Whether it's to make them smile or
to be like this or that.
I don't know.
I don't fucking know.
I can't do this.
I just can't fucking do this anymore.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There's a hole in my heart.
It's been there forever.
And it's has it's shares of repair.
But it always appears that the tape or glue or
some sort of adhesive never stays on for very long.
Soon it disintegrates and falls apart.
And the hole reforms itself.
Over and over again.
It's so empty.
It's sad really, how I keep telling myself
someone will soon come by and refill the hole in my heart.
And I'll keep believing that statement.
Until my heart is full.