i have 2 weeks left with you until you have to go home and figure everything out. that's fourteen days. 20, 160 minutes. 1, 209, 600 seconds.

and i know we are both scared. the fear that we're going to get bored of each other. that something will happen in the time we're apart and one of us will have to make the call to end everything. i know i'm scared. i know you are too. but i don't know why, you're just perfection in and of itself. you're too good to be true. i always have to pinch myself or something but i know i'm not dreaming. this is reality.

and i believe in this. i do. i am fucking terrified okay. and i'm trying so hard to prepare myself for the worse and i know even if something happens where things just don't work out, i'll be okay. because i always do. i'll be okay and i know that. but the pain, i don't want to deal with that. the hurt. the sadness. sleepless nights. running the details over and over again in my mind. i don't want to feel that.

but i know that this is really fucking scary and i know the fear lingers and i've only ever been sure about 3 things in my life and you are one of them. and this everything, these last 3 weeks have been beyond extraordinary and i couldn't be more grateful. i wish i could just tell you right now that honestly i am fully investing in this, in us. and that everything that's happened is completely surreal and unbelievable and unexplainable. i don't have enough vowels and consonances to express all the feelings residing in my chest and you are the cause of that.