Stayed home all day.

I haven't had a day like this in an

extremely long time.

These mornings when you wake up

to face your harsh reality is the

reason why I'd prefer to sleep for

eternity.

You awaken to find yourself

nowhere close to hope.

Just suddenly enveloped by

dark clouds and haunted by

memories you had buried years ago.

Checked the voicemail today to find

my counsellor called concerned about

my attendance patterns. 

Fuck.

And I have no well constructed lies to save

me this time.

I feel two-faced.

I feel like the fucking epitome of deception.

And I am a hypocrite at best.

& now all my prevarications are reverberating 

off these four walls, as a reminder to say:

I AM THE PROBLEM.