the sickness is myself; i am an oxymoron.

he said cruel words when all i asked was a perfectly civilized question.

Kendahl: hey

Bowen: Hello Hello Hows the Carr?

Kendahl: it's pretty awesome, i actually like school. :P how about you? stoked on graduating?

Bowen: Oh, you bet, But it will mean you will have to find new high school students to sleep with

Kendahl: you're such an asshole!

Bowen: haha, Although that might not be a hobby you plan on keeping for to many more years

Kendahl: don't be such a douche

Bowen: <3

Kendahl: okay, so what is this?

Bowen: Hahaha, It looks like some sort of heart, Like that on a playing card

Kendahl: no you loser!

Bowen: hm, I thought I won that Question by answering correctly

Kendahl: haha no,i meant like this thing between us?

Bowen: Well, If you are 19 it would be called statutory rape, but I get the feeling im not answer this correctly, Why dont you try answering you own question?

Bowen: Well, Ive got to take Bella for a stroll I will talk to you later

I'm sorry but everything he said was pretty much uncalled for. It was so unnecessary. Taking a stab at my confidence, saying prevarications, assumptions. Trying to insult me without evidence with no substantial backbone, whatsoever. What made me more furious was the fact that he has this image of me, that I'm this sort of person. A slut. A whore. Easy. Insecure. Needing. Wanting. Dumb. Idiotic. Someone he can play. Someone he can walk all over. When doesn't know ANYTHING about me. Just like how I know NOTHING about him.

" i feel like shit. okay honestly i'm NOT attached i just wanted to ask for some sort of establishment like okay are we fbs? is this over? honestly if it was over i wouldn't have cared you know? just the fact that he thinks i am this person and only sees this one side of me and makes all these fucking prevarications and assumptions. i mean, it's hard to believe someone who can possibly do one night stands on the sideline is actually someone with another side, someone who actually cares about society, who didn't waste their fucking summer just drinking and partying, someone who actually cares about causes, about music, about things that matter. and maybe it's so hard to believe that people like me even exists, that there are different elements to me and they all contradict each other, and apologies that i am such an oxymoron but this is me, i am not pretentiousness. this is why i don't judge people. everyone has a story. everyone has a different side to them, something that their outsides don't show. "

I sent that to my friend Abby. Its too bad he indulges in ignorance, hides behind a stature of incertitude. Go ahead, I'll let him say such awful words but they lack substance and they lack truth. Go ahead, say all those malevolent things that will give you an ego boost. Overdose of testosterone much? Sorry I'm not a generic photocopy like everybody else. I am beyond this and I don't deserve this. He is a disgrace to humanity. People like him will go nowhere. And its people like him that keep persisting the degradation of the real beautiful people.

I am my own affliction
I am my own disease
There ain´t no drug that they could sell
Ah there ain´t no drugs to make me well

There ain´t no drugs
It´s not enough
There ain´t no drugs
The sickness is myself

I made a mess of me I wanna get back the rest of me
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my life alive
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna reverse this tragedy
I´ve made a mess of me I wanna spend the rest of my live alive
The rest of my life alive!