je veux tout.

ça devient dur. tu me manques. tu me manques. beacoup. beacoup. Paris était merveilleuse. la plus belle ville que j'ai visité. la ville d'amour. et je suis tombé en amour. pas avec un garçon mais cette ville. cette place me comprendre. l'art c'est partout. les monuments, les rues, les peuple. c'était magique ça. cette place, je me sentais connectés, je me sentais vivant.


translation: this is hard. i miss you. i miss you. a lot. a lot. Paris was amazing. this city that i visited. the city of love. and i fell in love. not with a boy but this city. this place understands me. art is everywhere. the monuments, the streets, the people. this is magic. this place, i felt connected, i felt alive.

et je ne sais plus a quoi penser. Paris vous êtes tout. je veux aller là-bas plus que jamais. c'est tout que je veux.

reading the conversations i saved makes me smile. it reminds me of our short bliss. it was just one night. it was funny. it was adventurous. i don't care if you're seeing someone else now, if she's pretty, that you kiss her, that you fuck her. i don't care if other girls are involved. because sure, our moments were temporary. it was all fun while it lasted. funny, the one thing that holds this universe together is so abstract, so complex, untangible, unseen, a mystic force, so mind expanding: love. everyone has different ideas about it, society has its structures around it. what if i told you maybe i haven't experienced love in the longterm sort of way, what if it was just for the night? would you believe me? would anyone? maybe i'm delirious but i don't know, with you and me there was more than just attraction, it was more than just sensualness, there was something.

pourquoi je sentes que si j'ai resté plus longue, nous pourrions avons été ensemble? juste moi et toi. personne d'autre. nous et la ville. nous et la nuit. nous pourrons partager la lit. vous me donnez des bisous, mes épaules, mon estomac, mon visage, mes yeux, mes oreilles, mes lévres. je veux tout. mais c'est impossible. nous vivant dans deux mondes différentes. tu me manques. mais, a la fin même si c'était temporaires, cela a tout signifier pour moi. je n'oublie pas.

translation: why do i get the feeling that if i stayed a bit longer, we could've been together? just me and you. no one else. us and the city. us and the night. we could've shared the bed. you would give me kisses, my shoulders, my stomach, my face, my eyes, my ears, my lips. i want it all. but it's impossible. we live in two different worlds. i miss you. but in the end, even though it was temporary, it meant everything to me. i won't forget you.

maybe moments like those make a mark on us. leave a scar, but it doesn't have to hurt too much, it leaves a memory. reflecting everything that once was. or everything that is. you were kind. you were polite. you were cute. you were funny. i know, i don't know you very well but if i could leave this place right now and find my way back to you, i would do it in a heartbeat. this is silly, i know. but a girl can dream, can't she? i wouldn't mind being tangled up in sheets with you, i wouldn't mind the adrenaline, hands through my hair, intimacy, enchanting closeness, tangibility.

je te reverrai un jour. n'oublie pas mon coeur.