i don't understand why people are always so shocked // overreact when they hear i've never had a boyfriend. it's true. I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND. deal with it. i never dated in high school because all the guys i knew // at my school were tits and immature and just so ignorant. a huge factor is i got my heart broken for the first time in 9th grade and i closed my heart for a good 4 years. i took rejection severely and on top of that i had a lot of self-esteem issues. they weren't apparent because i never talked about it but its true. i didn't love myself and that is still something i struggle with today. for the most part i love myself a good 98 %. that's pretty fucking good, if i do say so myself. there are some people who are condescending and make me feel as if i should've dated in high school // as if it its mandatory rule. well fuck that. if anything i've seen from high school relationships is they never last. everything is temporary. its fun and exciting but honestly they're so overdramatized and completely absurd. all these pre-teens // teens after just an hour of being asked out completely exposing their new found "relationship" via facebook. i really dislike that about facebook. that whole its not official until its on facebook. STFU. no one cares. it makes sense if you were dating for at least a good 3 months. but c'mon an hour? a day? 2 weeks? don't be ridiculous now. and i'm also aware of the fact that i am a magnet for all guys who are bad news for me. and i've semi-convinced myself i'll be single for the rest of my life.

my head hurts. i can't think clearly.