i can't even feel stupid about it. why me & my god awful pathetic teenage heart?
why do i feel embarrassed about this? ashamed? stupid?

sometimes i refuse to allow myself to fancy someone because i somehow convince myself it's stupid and not worth it. but i know i'm just lying to myself because sometimes you can't control how you feel. control. the one thing that i have yet the one thing i don't have at the same time. i don't get this at all.